Why couldn’t you love me?
See all the effort I put in
Why did you leave?
When I did all I could to make you stay.
Why wasn’t I enough
I wanted so badly to be
Why wasn’t I accepted?
I never seemed to tick all your boxes
Why couldn’t you see the beautiful parts of me?
I needed your validation so badly
Why did you hurt me?
I never would have hurt you
Why oh why
I know now that the answers my questions can never be found with you but always and forever only with me
I never needed you.
Theres more to you
Always has been and always will be
You see yourself as some broken thing that can never be fixed
But I see the real you, hidden deep inside
Those broken pieces
I see it and love you so
I only wish that you could see it too
Not a perfect being
But beautifully imperfect
Irreplaceable and needed
Right here and right now.
Who’s that girl
Light and carefree
Bright red lipstick and the warmest of smiles
Begging you to come closer
Who’s that girl?
Unforgettable in her mini skirt and long flowy dress
Her light unmistakable
Who’s that girl?
With words always on the tip of her tongue and mind bursting with imagery
Who’s that girl?
With her big heart and the glass always half full
Praise on her lips and prayers in her heart
The world making sense piece by piece
Inner peace a constant
There is no pretence here
No carefully constructed words
No fear of rejection
No chance that I will ever leave
Because you are everything to me
A true original
Nothing and no one can compares
Your flaws are intricate designs
Only to be found in this beautiful masterpiece
Your heart the most beautiful thing in world to me
Oh how I love you
Tired of these dark thoughts
That wrap around and paralyse me
It seems that I’m constantly fighting a battle
I want so badly to be strong
And to be the person that overcomes
To not feel bleak or hopeless
I have absolutely no reason to be
But still this feeling of being lost and alone comes
And once again I feel stuck.
You want me all covered up
Skirts knee length, clothes modest, thoughts pure
You tell me ladies are to be classy, reserved and demure
I think there is something wrong me
But what you never told me
Was what I should do when I dream of mini dresses and bare feet
I love my body and all it’s arches and curves
And I love embracing it
Should I change?
The princess saves herself on this one
no elaborate storylines
with tall men on white horses
no saviour waiting to rescue her
no kiss to wake her from a deep slumber
just brown steady boots on muddy ground
and weatherbeaten clothing
ready to brave this world on her own.
I wish you would show me all of you and not just the pretty parts
This carefully constructed version of you that keeps all the bad things out
I see all the good in there but I also see the pain and hurt that you can never allow yourself to feel
You claim you are strong enough to handle it all
And maybe you are
But what if you don’t have to be
I wish you could share this load with me
But if it can’t be me I hope you find someone who you could let in
I’m sorry but I can’t only love some parts of you.
If only I could be what you need me to be
Could act out what your mind is thinking before you even put it in words
If only I wasn’t so absent-minded, lazy, melancholy
Maybe you wouldn’t scream so much
It used to hurt me so much the thought of never being quite enough
Always falling just short of, subpar even
But now I’m learning I might never please you and I’m okay with it
Wanting to be loved and held
Wanting to be wanted
Hoping to finally find a home here
Wondering if there will ever be a person for her.