What gives you the right to my body?
To the very secrets corners of my person.
What makes you think you can take as you want and I have to lay there and watch?
Hopeless with no chance of escape.
Who gives you the right to police my behavior and tell me what an appropriate
reaction is?
Like you could even know what it felt like to be me at that moment alone and
What makes you think you can pit my sisters against each other over you?
Like some sick twisted competition that you enjoy.
What makes you think you are a prize?
That I should spend my life pursuing you.
Who made you judge over what my body should look like?
Tearing down my self-esteem if for some reason I don’t comply.
Who has made you lord over this world?
Just because of the nature of your sex.

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My dad tells me stories about the woman who was the light of his world 

The woman whose strength of character was so strong people often mistook it for weakness 

You were selfless, hardworking and loved people the way God intended

He cries about you sometimes 

Deep, vulnerable inconsolable tears 

About the life, he wishes he could have given you before you died

Sometimes he speaks wistfully with eyes fixed on a distant horizon

About the promise he made to wipe away your tears

Grandma, I hope your as proud of him as I am 

You said your only regret was not living life to its fullest

Not exploring enough, laughing enough

Dancing enough, making silly mistakes enough 

Grandma, I hope you knew how great you were if only in the man you raised 

I hope you are living vicariously through my sisters and me 

And that you are happy seeing the women we are becoming 


Tired of these dark thoughts
That wrap around and paralyse me
It seems that I’m constantly fighting a battle
I want so badly to be strong
And to be the person that overcomes
To not feel bleak or hopeless
I have absolutely no reason to be
But still this feeling of being lost and alone comes
And once again I feel stuck.


You want me all covered up
Skirts knee length, clothes modest, thoughts pure
You tell me ladies are to be classy, reserved and demure
I think there is something wrong me
But what you never told me
Was what I should do when I dream of mini dresses and bare feet
Dancing carefree
I love my body and all it’s arches and curves
And I love embracing it
Should I change?

Heartbeat to Heartbeat

Heartbeat to Heartbeat
Heartbeat to heartbeat

Souls intertwined
Always running but somehow I come back to this place
Don’t know what it is about you that makes me feel safe
I try to bury it but my soul yearns for a comfort only you can give
You have truly ruined me you see
Because nothing and no one compares
Reasoning does not explain the compulsion I feel
To hear your voice, and let the thoughts from your beautiful mind take me to passionate and limitless levels
You will never know what you mean to me, gave to me
I don’t always let you know the extent to which you could hurt me
You made me do and feel things I never could
Released the artist and dreamer in me
Made me unafraid
But you see I ran away because I couldn’t let you devastate me like you did before
Never felt so much pain and loss all at once
You said you would never make me feel like that
You lied
And so when you came back I did the only thing I could
I pushed you so far away that you couldn’t touch me
Built walls so high and told myself lies till they soon sounded like the truth
But in quiet moments such as this were I am consumed with thoughts of you
I cannot escape the desire to want to be connected with you
Heartbeat to heartbeat

I wish

I wish
I wish you would show me all of you and not just the pretty parts
This carefully constructed version of you that keeps all the bad things out
I see all the good in there but I also see the pain and hurt that you can never allow yourself to feel
You claim you are strong enough to handle it all
And maybe you are
But what if you don’t have to be
I wish you could share this load with me
But if it can’t be me I hope you find someone who you could let in
I’m sorry but I can’t only love some parts of you.

If only

If only
If only I could be what you need me to be
Could act out what your mind is thinking before you even put it in words
If only I wasn’t so absent-minded, lazy, melancholy
Maybe you wouldn’t scream so much
It used to hurt me so much the thought of never being quite enough
Always falling just short of, subpar even
But now I’m learning I might never please you and I’m okay with it

Can I?

Can I?
Can I be your forever girl?
Flowers in my hair, white flowy dress walking down the aisle girl
Can I be your bare feet on the beach girl?
Dancing in the moonlight arms wrapped around each other girl
Can I be your hold you in the dark girl?
Stay with you till the pain subsides girl
Can I be the one you tell your secrets to girl?
You know they will stay safe with me girl.
Can I?