You are like a ray of sunshine
Everything that I wish I could have
But maybe I don’t feel quite enough
The loudest of laughs and the sweetest of guys
I don’t trust you to be here for very long and I am afraid to be right
So maybe its better to ignore the fireworks and the tension that is is tangible in the air
What if I regret not putting myself on the line ?
But what if I regret the reality of you even more?
Either way I will probably never know beautiful man
And maybe its better if I don’t
So I can keep the dream of what we could be always close to my chest.
I would like to start this post by saying thank you to every single person that has ever read any of my posts. I would also like to give a special shoutout to all the people (mostly my friends lol) that consistently read my posts. These past few years have been a rollercoaster and it has been such a mission to find the motivation to consistently share and post on my blog. It has also occurred to me that I have not really shared too much about myself directly and I would like to change that a little bit.
First things first the reason I started this website was because I needed some form of expression during a dark period in my life and I can’t tell you how proud of myself I am when I look back at my old posts and see the progression. Trust me there was a huge shift all thanks to God. It has also felt good to connect with myself and other people through my poems over the years and I am so grateful for that. The next thing I would like to share is that my life over the past 2-3 years has been a lot of transition, growth and just well life. Facing the real world and dealing with certain adult realities has sometimes taken the poetry from me and maybe even my voice a bit. I have realized that I have been going through the rhythm of life and that the words feel so far away. I have also not been super intentional about myself and maybe lost a little bit of myself. I promise myself and all my readers that I will be the girl again that hears the words buzzing in her head and feel the joy of them pouring out on paper in my heart once again. I will find the poetry in my life because its always been there.
I am also writing this post for anyone who has lost a little bit of themselves in this thing called life to remember who they are. To think of the thing that makes their heart sing and try to do it. Joy and peace aren’t abstract concepts and should always feel close to your heart. Take a deep breath and remember who you are lovelies.
If your reading this
Alone with your thoughts in the dead of the night
Your mind running wild like a video stuck on replay
I want you to know that you are loved
Totally, completely and utterly
In all your beautiful glory
A one of a kind creation that can never be cloned
You deserve to be accepted fully and with no reservations
Loved without limits
And held on to with the firmest of grips
Because you are everything and nothing could ever replace you.
I am giving you everything and absolutely nothing
All at the same time
When you read my words you might think you know me
Its a fair assumption because there is vulnerability here too
But the thing is that you see exactly what I want you to see when I want you to see it
Its funny but in a way its control
And how can you possibly think you know me when I am finding out something different about myself everyday
The truth is that you only know what I tell you.
Why couldn’t you love me?
See all the effort I put in
Why did you leave?
When I did all I could to make you stay.
Why wasn’t I enough
I wanted so badly to be
Why wasn’t I accepted?
I never seemed to tick all your boxes
Why couldn’t you see the beautiful parts of me?
I needed your validation so badly
Why did you hurt me?
I never would have hurt you
Why oh why
I know now that the answers my questions can never be found with you but always and forever only with me
I never needed you.
Theres more to you
Always has been and always will be
You see yourself as some broken thing that can never be fixed
But I see the real you, hidden deep inside
Those broken pieces
I see it and love you so
I only wish that you could see it too
Not a perfect being
But beautifully imperfect
Irreplaceable and needed
Right here and right now.
Who’s that girl
Light and carefree
Bright red lipstick and the warmest of smiles
Begging you to come closer
Who’s that girl?
Unforgettable in her mini skirt and long flowy dress
Her light unmistakable
Who’s that girl?
With words always on the tip of her tongue and mind bursting with imagery
Who’s that girl?
With her big heart and the glass always half full
Praise on her lips and prayers in her heart
The world making sense piece by piece
Inner peace a constant
There is no pretence here
No carefully constructed words
No fear of rejection
No chance that I will ever leave
Because you are everything to me
A true original
Nothing and no one can compares
Your flaws are intricate designs
Only to be found in this beautiful masterpiece
Your heart the most beautiful thing in world to me
Oh how I love you
Take care when the world feels like it’s falling apart
Brush your hair, your teeth and remember to breathe
Take a long shower and remember who exactly you are
You are nights spent over a bright lamp obsessed with achieving your goals
You are laughter shared with friends and memories made
You are the very best of humanity
You are an answered prayer and the strength others need
You are valued and you are cherished
Every piece of you is needed right here and right now
They call her dangerous
A woman who knows who she is.
For she seeks no validation and the sky is just her starting point.
She fights for what she wants and does not give up.
They can not control her so they call her names.
Hoping that raining abuses on her would make her shrink
They do not understand her so they demonise her.
They put labels on her hoping to put her in this negative box they have created.
She makes the men cower and shatters their fragile egos.
Success is her birthright and she refuses to give it up.
Dangerous woman you hold the world at your fingertips.
See the original post here